Mum we went to church today and I stayed all till the end. Father David mentioned you again and I nearly lost myself. Ian got me through it. But I lost myself this afternoon I went to meet kian and told him that I lost you he was quite upset that nanny has gone away. Had a chat with Daddy and he basically told me I need to let you rest. I'm trying to but I miss you so much if I could of kept you in the chapel of rest I would of because I could still see you ,talk to you.hold your hand and kiss you as much as I wanted to. Mum I'm really trying to but this pain in my chest is unbelievable 💔 I so want to see you just to tell you how much I love you. I know you knew it but I so need you to help me deal with this mum. I still feel so much anger to the lot of them. I know your saying Don't worry about it. I hate the lot of them mum I've started to read the Bible to try and get me through this pain and anger. Nite nite mum God bless sweet dreams Love you more x